While creating New Year’s resolutions for 2020, many of us had no idea we’d be trying to keep them during a global pandemic. Some of us had goals of creating deeper relationships, exercising more, making more money, traveling more, having better sex, etc., and out of nowhere a virus called COVID rearranges our lives as we know it. Many of us went from bar hoping to FaceTime and Zoom; from being on an airplane to sanitizing grocery bags and doorknobs; and from getting close with a Tinder buddy to getting close to your vibrator. Who could have imagined?

Now there’s news of the world opening back up, and things going back to “normal,” but what is normal after a global pandemic? This pandemic is truly a test of mindfulness. We truly have to sit still and take one day at a time while we navigate this new territory. With that being said, we still have plenty of opportunities to get our 2020 groove back. Here are some tips for getting into your new groove as things begin opening back up.

Self Care is the Best Care

We have just gone through some major shifts in our world. For some this may bring opportunity, for others it may bring great challenges, and for many, it brings a combination of both. Do what you must to make sure you’re safe and sane. Invest in yourself: exercise, learn a new skill on YouTube, take a course you’ve been meaning to take, create new routines, get plenty of rest, stay hydrated, eat well, masturbate, have sex with a current partner or someone you feel is safe. Take care of you.

Be Patient

Information is changing day by day. Be patient and be okay with sitting in discomfort. Everything in life comes with seasons. This too shall pass. It is okay not to feel okay. Look for supports in your community and online that can help as we find our post-COVID groove.

Follow Your Intuition

There’s a lot of information out there regarding best practices moving forward. Stay informed and make the best decisions for you and your family, keeping your intuition in mind. If the idea of going out doesn’t sit well with you, listen to that feeling. All of us have different needs and circumstances, and you have to do what you feel is best for your life moving forward.

Sometimes in finding your groove again, things may feel awkward and uneasy. This is perfectly normal. It’s very rare for someone to master a new skill without practice. Consider Post-COVID a time to practice being skilled at mindfulness: non-judging, patience, beginner’s mindset, trust, non-striving, acceptance, and letting go. At the end, you can create a groove that was even greater than the one before.

Renée Burwell

Renée Burwell

LCSW, MPA, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist
Renée Burwell, LCSW, MPA, CST is a skilled psychotherapist and educator with specializations in sex therapy and trauma. Her practice, Pandora's Awakening, offers services and educational outreach that help destigmatize mental and sexual health services. She is a skilled facilitator offering trainings and workshops to healthcare and social services professionals on mental health, sexual health, and reproductive justice. In addition to her work at Pandora's Awakening, she is also the executive director of the Tennessee Alliance of Sexual Health, AASECT’s Mid-Continent Representative, an active member of the Association of Black Sexologist, and is a writer and educator for various mediums including Bedroom Kandi and CNN.

She holds a Bachelor’s of Arts in Psychology from Spelman College, a Master of Social Work and Master of Public Administration from the University of Southern California, a Post Graduate Certificate in Sex Therapy and Education from the University of Michigan, and is AASECT certified as a sex therapist.