One year in isolation.

One year quarantined and alone with your partner.

Some time alone with your lover may have been an exciting alternative to your hectic life but not almost 365 days, 8,760 hours, and 525,600 minutes. We should call the producers of Rent and have them rewrite “Seasons of Love.” One year of Zoom calls, homeschooling, and sweatpants later, time together may start to feel less than exciting.

Now, more than ever, we need to revitalize and maintain our connections to loved ones while maintaining a healthy emotional and sexual relationship.

Here are some practical suggestions to help you keep the spark alive in your love life, even when faced with anxiety and social distancing.

Sexual Exploration Day

Boredom takes the zing out of any interlude. The script of sex can be predictable and boring. Consider sexual exploration by adding in different accessories to your intimate repertoire like a high-tech vibrator. Do something together like watching an explicit movie, taking a sensual bath, or trying outdoor sex. Try out some different sexual positions. Even something as small as a new lubricant can add some spice. If you always use a water-based lubricant, try premium silicone or experiment with a flavored lube. Take the time to explore your fantasies and pleasures. Stock up on some erotic reading or romance novels. Be proactive!

Journey into Each Other’s Worlds

They love golf and you love reading. Now’s the perfect time to open yourself up to your partner’s likes. Try watching golf with them and encourage them to read your favorite book. By spending time in each other’s worlds, you gain a different perspective on your partner.

Plan a Staycation

Most people haven’t gotten onto an airplane in almost a year or taken that desired road trip to a favorite romantic getaway. Even vacation plans don’t look like they’re about to materialize this summer. Here’s what you can do: plan a nice, fun vacation in your own home by each choosing places on your travel bucket list. Have you always wanted to visit Paris and walk the Seine river? Do they want to see the leaning tower of Pisa or stroll down the back alleys of a Swiss countryside village? Try planning a virtual trip from the comfort of your own home. This could be the same destination you plan a future trip to when you are ready to travel!

Set the stage with virtual museum tours and make it even more enjoyable by preparing some local foods to enjoy while you vacation virtually. Transform your bedroom into a hotel oasis with fancy soaps, get out the plush thick towels and robes, prepare some chocolate-covered strawberries, and add some pillow mints. Explore your hotel-master-bedroom!  A staycation may be just what you need to invigorate your sexual adventures.

Focus on Alone Time

Spending too much time cooped up together can get on anyone’s last nerves. It can create irritability and add to pandemic stress. Choose a safe alone place and spend some quality time doing what nurtures your soul. Be alone with your thoughts, leaf through a magazine, and, if you love to read, then read.  If television comedies are your thing, then plan a few hours of laughter in front of the entertainment center- ALONE. Time apart strengthens your bond when you come together and will help you reignite the passion.

Keep Up Date Night Traditions

Plan a special date night together and set up your home as a safe haven. Change the linens, make the bed, shower, and get dressed up. Give the sweats a break. Consider some internet shopping for some sexy lingerie. Don’t forget to  turn off your cell phone and all the other electronics that have invaded your lives. Put on romantic music, light those scented candles, and prepare tasty erotic treats. Set the stage with some role play or explore some sexual fantasies! Let your imagination take over.

Michael Krychman
Michael L. Krychman, MDCM, is the Executive Director of the Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivorship Medicine located in Newport Beach California. He is the former Co Director of The Sexual Medicine and Rehabilitation Program at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer. He also is a clinical sexologist and has completed his Masters in Public Health and Human Sexuality. Dr Krychman has a degree in Erotology, Sexual Education and Forensic Sexology. Dr Krychman is also an AASECT certified sexual counselor. He is an Associate Clinical Professor at the University of California Irvine, Division of Gynecological Oncology and the Medical Director of Ann’s Clinic, a high-risk program for Breast and Ovarian Cancer Survivors.

His special interests include menopausal health, hormone therapy, sexual pain disorders, and loss of libido, chronic medical illness and medical devices and their impact on female sexual function. He is a well-known speaker who is featured locally, nationally and internationally. He has published many articles in peer-reviewed journals and has been featured in many scientific journals and lay magazines. Dr Krychman is an active reviewer for the Journal of Sexual Medicine. He was the Scientific Chairman for the 2010 International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health annual educational meeting. He is an active member in good standing in North American Menopause (NAMS), International Society sexual Medicine (ISSM), European Society Sexual Medicine (ESSM), International Society Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH), American Society of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). He was a member of the Standard Committee for ISSM and has been a guest professor at the ESSM Sexual Medicine Summer School in Oxford, England. He was the creator of the recent WISH Initiative (Women’ Initiative on Sexual Health: and the 2013 recipient of the WISH Outstanding Achievement award given by the ISSWSH. He is also on the professional advisory board for the Patty Brisben Foundation.

Dr. Krychman’s has published 7 books including his most recent one: The Sexual Spark, 20 Essential Exercises to Reignite the Passion, 100 Questions & Answers for Women Living with Cancer: A Practical Guide to Female Cancer Survivorship has been recently published, 100 Questions and Answers about Women’s Sexual Wellness and Vitality and Breast cancer Sexuality, Sensuality and Intimacy. He has been featured on the Today show and in the New York Times and US News and World Report World Report, The Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Health Magazine and many others. He was named one of Orange County Top Doctors for 2015 and 2016 in Menopause, Sexual Dysfunction and Vulvar Pain. In 2019 and again in 2020, he has been named an Orange County Physician of Excellence by Orange Coast Magazine in Survivorship, Sexual Medicine and Menopause.