Thank You, Next: Red Flags that are a Sign You Should Move On
Before you make the next big leap in your relationship, like moving in together, buying a puppy, or scheduling an exotic vacation with your honey bunny, you might want to think twice before you commit. Falling for someone “special” can cloud your judgment, leading you down a slippery slope of relationship flops. Some red flags, like “don’t date someone who treats people in the service industry poorly,” are pretty self-explanatory. There are some red flags you think may be a positive in your relationship, some experts suggest otherwise.
Check out this list of red flags you should avoid while in your current or future relationships.
Nothing is better than someone who constantly compliments you and treats you like the perfect queen you are, right? If your significant other praises you as “perfect,” they better prepare for a harsh reality check.
Compliments may be nice on occasion, but receiving them constantly might mean that your partner doesn’t necessarily see you for both your good and “not-so-good” qualities. Eventually, you’ll start to feel the pressure to be perfect and burst like a balloon at a 3-year-old’s birthday party. Relationships aren’t about putting on a show 24/7, so you shouldn’t feel pressured to act a certain way. Ditch the toxic positivity and find someone who embraces your flaws and has normal expectations of you. Admit it, anyone who thinks you can do no wrong does not see the humanity in you… and no one wants to end up like one of the characters from the Netflix show “YOU.”
Tied at the Hip? That’s Not so Charming After All.
While we embrace BDSM and the steamy exploration of your senses, being tied to your partner outside of the bedroom isn’t ideal. If you’re constantly spending time with your partner, this red flag could lead down an ugly path of unhealthy co-dependence. The lack of separation can cause people in relationships to be controlling, manipulative, or jealous, resulting in a volatile relationship recipe that no one finds tasty. Define your boundaries and find comfort in friends, family, and your own personal space.
Your Partner Won’t DTR – Define. The. Relationship.
Sure, it can be fun to have a casual fling, but after months of being together and no “DTR” in the near future, you’re better off saving your precious time and energy. When your special someone wants to keep things “chill,” they aren’t at a place where they’re mature enough to give you what you want in a relationship. You deserve to meet someone on your level because trying to change someone almost never works out in your favor. Avoid this red flag by staying in touch with your values and what you want in a relationship. In the end, remember, “nobody puts Baby in a corner.”
The Couch Potato Has Got to Go.
If your partner lacks a good work ethic, they aren’t the person you should be cozying up with. Read it loud and clear: motivation is sexy. Motivation is attractive for both biological and social reasons. At the biological level, motivated people are attractive because they were the ones whose DNA survived most often. They were better able to find, hunt, and return with food when we were cavepeople. On the social level, this ability to provide has transformed into a different definition of success for us as a culture: one of financial stability and the ability to provide for your family longterm, both of which make motivated people a good choice for a partner.
Additionally, you deserve to be with someone who can match your levels of drive and ambition. After all, any good relationship is a partnership in which both partners mutually support each other’s goals. If your partner does not share your vision of success, motivation, or ambition, it will require you to not only motivate yourself, but try to motivate them as well. And that’s exhausting.
So, to sum it all up, you don’t want your partner constantly playing a game of “catchup.” Instead, find someone who can be an equal partner with you in a relationship that drives both partners to be their best versions of themselves. . It reminds us of movies we watched when we were growing up. How many main characters or movies can you list off the top of your head that went through unbelievable hurdles to reach their end goal?
Let’s name a few…
- “Forrest Gump”
- “Soul Surfer”
- “Dead Poets Society“
- Just about any Disney movie
These movies were filled with motivation, endurance, and sometimes killer lyrics that played in your mind on repeat for weeks on end. To sum it all up, you don’t want your partner constantly playing a game of “catchup.” Instead, they should match your ambitious energy and drive and not hold you back from your endless potential.
The list of red flags goes on and on. Take a minute to step back and reflect on your relationship or whatever romantic endeavor you’re embarking on at the moment. If you’re tied at the hip, find a way to make some wiggle room. Looking for a relationship? Time to move on from the person who just wants to play. Trust your judgment, and if you’re ever having doubts, look to friends and family to help you work through the situation. You’re amazing! You deserve a partner who is on your level.