Let’s start with this- your age has nothing to do with your sexy meter. But it’s natural to not feel quite as sexy or sexual as you did in your younger years. You may not look the same, have the same amount of energy, or be as sexually adventurous as you once were but that doesn’t mean you are any less desirable. The silver lining to your 40s is that you know what you like, where you like it, and who you like it with. If you’re feeling like you’re in a rut or lacking the confidence to explore new things, here are some ideas to stay sexy in your 40s and beyond.

Embrace self-care

If taking time for yourself is a priority, you will feel more in-tune with yourself and your body. Sometimes we can get so busy and wrapped up in taking care of the people and tasks around us that we forget that we need self-care too. This can eventually make you feel burnt out.

Take a little bit of time each day to do something for yourself. Watch an episode of your favorite television show, workout, take a bath with your favorite Pure Romance bubble bath, read a book, go to the salon and pamper yourself, or whatever your favorite form of self-care is.

Explore yourself

Sometimes if you don’t spend enough time exploring yourself physically and mentally, you can lose track of who you are. In the hustle of everyday life, your sexual needs can get pushed to the side. Your body is like a friend, if you don’t spend time with it, you aren’t going to feel as connected and close to it.

A great way to start exploring is by treating yourself to a new Pure Romance toy, like our best-selling Main Attraction, and get familiar with your own body. Orgasms release oxytocin, which lowers cortisol, the main stress hormone in our bodies. With oxytocin reducing the anxiety you feel from insecurities and other life stresses, you can focus on positive things.

Also, read educational literature about women’s health that can help you learn more about how your body works. Knowing more about what your body is capable of, and how to best care for it, can help you see that you aren’t alone. Hopefully, you’ll more confident and prouder of the body that is carrying you through life. One great title is “Come As You Are” by Emily Nagoski, which is an approachable and fascinating read that explores how and why women’s sexuality works.

Pick a power outfit

Look good, feel good. It really is the truth. If you look your best, it will boost your confidence. This will help with any negative feelings you may be battling. Pick an outfit that makes you feel sexy. Maybe it is a dress or a shirt in your favorite color. Choose whatever makes you feel hot!

You don’t even have to have anywhere special to wear it. Wear your power outfit to the grocery store, the movies, the bank, wherever you have to go for the day! If you are looking your best, you will feel your best, making these everyday tasks a little less tedious.

Change things up

If you are in a relationship, changing up your sex routine is a great way to help you feel sexier. Once sex becomes routine, it can feel more obligatory than spontaneous. But if you try something new, you could feel more desired by your partner. So, discuss adding in some roleplay or other new, unexplored sexual acts.

Start your day with affirmations

The power of positive thinking isn’t one that should be overlooked. Specifically, start your day with positive affirmations. This puts you in the right headspace to take control of your day. When you are getting ready, brushing your teeth, or washing your face, look in the mirror and repeat these statements confidently:

These are just a few affirmations that when repeated daily, can change your outlook about yourself and the world around you.

Create healthy habits

This isn’t about being a specific weight or looking a specific way. This is about feeling healthy with your body and your mind. Creating healthy habits can help you get there. It takes 21 days to form a habit, so commit for a month to add a few healthy habits. Start every day drinking water and taking a 30-minute walk. Then, once those things become a habit, add in some more. Read at least an hour a day or attend a work-out class of your choice twice a week.

Once you start developing these healthy habits, you will begin feeling happier and more confident. You will also begin feeling more connected to your body!

These are just a few things that can help you feel sexy as you age. Everyone is different, so find what works for you. Anything that reminds you that you’re sexy and amazing will do! Try these tips out and see what works for you!

Kaitlyn Craig
Kaitlyn (she/her/hers) recently graduated in May 2022 from Northern Kentucky University with a bachelor’s in English. She loves reading, writing, and crocheting (specifically stuffed animals!) She is from Paducah, Kentucky, and has worked for Pure Romance since July 2022. She is very passionate about talking about books and the various impacts they can have. She even has a podcast called "The NeverEnding TBR." She would love to one day be an author and create characters that can impact others the way her favorite characters have impacted her!