Fellatio is just one way to be intimate with your partner. Not only is it a fun way to explore, it’s also great for women who need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. So instead of waiting for a big man to shimmy down a chimney to give out your gifts this year, let your loved one unwrap this present early. Here are our 10 tips for giving great oral favors.

Consent

You know what makes great sex? Enthusiastically consenting partners! You may think asking before traveling south is enough, but you should keep checking in with your partner while giving oral favors to make sure they’re enjoying the experience. Not only will this make them feel safe, but it will also improve your technique.

Be Safe

We want everyone to have a pleasurable experience, so make sure you’re using protection. Condoms are a great way to protect from STDs and you can buy flavored ones to make it more enjoyable. Also, keep in mind that while oral hygiene is important, don’t brush or floss within two hours of an oral favor because these can cause rips and nicks in your mouth. We also recommend getting tested at least once a year, or more if you have multiple partners. If you do have an STD, don’t worry. It’s very common and most can be treated with antibiotics. Learn more here.

Stay hydrated

If you’re giving an oral favor, a little preparation will make all the difference later. Hydrate throughout the day so that you have enough saliva to help with lubrication. If you haven’t been hydrating, a quick hack is to have mints or chewing gum on the bedside table. Pop one in before you get started to kickstart saliva function.

Be aware down there

Some people like a little musk. Some people like to be completely scrubbed. It doesn’t hurt to freshen up if you’ve had a long day. In preparation of receiving fellatio, you may feel like taking a shower so your partner will be surrounded by your favorite bath fragrance. Or if you don’t have the time, use some pH-balanced cleansing wipes. We do not recommend douching, since that alters the pH of the vagina (remember: the vagina does a great job of cleaning itself!).

Set the mood

Turn down the lights, light those candles, and press play on a sexy playlist. Focus on foreplay, it’s incredibly important (read why here). Kiss them, tease them, please them. Getting them hot and heavy at the beginning will increase the sensitivity and pleasure when you’re in the act. Whip out a flavored lubricant that will transform the experience. Also, get in a comfortable position. If you’re uncomfortable on your knees, your partner will sense that. Instead, have them stand while you lie on the bed with your head slightly over the edge. Or go for the classic 69 so both of you can get in on the fun.

Go slow

Slow and steady wins the orgasm race. Especially when you’re beginning the oral favor. Tease them as you slide slowly down. Go for long, slow licks to heighten sensation. It may take a while for your partner to warm up, so start with an easy pace and increase as you feel them respond to you.

Compliment them

Almost everyone feels self-conscious about their body, even if they seem super confident. Let them know how much you love doing this. Tell them how good they taste and look. Also, don’t get distracted! Put all your focus on them and pay special attention to how they react to what you’re doing.

Add a vibrator

Vibrators are always a great addition to sex. Use a wand on your partner to add more sensation or wear a vibrating toy to get more into the action. If your jaw or tongue is tired, give yourself a break and use a toy that mimics the movement of a tongue. The options are endless! If you want to experiment, there are plenty of options you can find now.

Give attention to every part of the body

It can be easy to just focus on one part of the body, but if you use your hands to explore your partner, you’ll keep them on their toes! If you’re using a vibrator, start by using it on their nipples. Use your hands to rub erogenous parts of their body. Don’t forget to make noises so they know you’re enjoying this experience. Also, enhance the intimacy by making eye contact with them every so often.

Experiment with new techniques

If you’re tired of the same old, mix it up! For example, fans of the Kivin method claim it leads to orgasm within three minutes. This is a rather new, but simple way to perform an oral favor on a woman. Instead of being between the legs, the giver lies parallel to their partner and licks the vulva from side to side, instead of up and down. Also, place a finger on the perineum to feel muscle contractions so you know if your partner is nearing orgasm.

If the recipient has a penis and you’re worried about gagging, there are also a few ways to make sure you’re both comfortable. First, try an oral gel that helps relax your throat and curb the gag reflex. You can also put the tip of your tongue on the top of your mouth and the penis under the tongue. This will give a full feeling, without having to go too deep.

‘Tis the season for cozy cuddles, steamy nights with steamy drinks, and fellatio! These tips are our gift to you so you can give a special treat to your loved one this holiday season.

Tori Tromblay

Tori Tromblay

Special Projects Producer
Tori Tromblay (she/her/hers) is a book enthuisiast, cat lover, and Cincinnati native. She graduated from Ohio University with a degree in journalism. After traveling to New York, D.C., London, and Tulsa, she settled back home, where she lives with her husband and two cats. She has worked for Pure Romance for two years and loves to learn and teach about sex education.