What makes a sexual method or technique amazing? While you may think it’s whatever brings you and your partner both to a breathtaking orgasm, there is another option that builds a sensual connection with your partner. It’s called the Karezza Method. This may seem counterintuitive, but orgasm isn’t the goal with this method. But you can achieve quiet bonding, relaxation, and love.

What is the Karezza Method

The term “Karezza” comes from the Italian word for caress. This method encourages partners to be as relaxed as possible and to engage in bonding activities such as smiling, eye contact, giving compliments, massaging, etc.

Psychotherapist Liz Afton says this is a great method for couples trying to reignite the magic. She says, “Imagine your partner’s body as a conduit of energy because it is. Infuse every motion with gentleness, curiosity, and a desire to learn from the experience.”


This method can have many benefits in your relationship with your partner. It can be a great option to rebuild a connection and trust between partners. This can also be a great option for survivors of sexual trauma, where other sexual techniques can take them back to that traumatic event.

It also is great for retaining and establishing a deeper bond between sexual partners. When your pleasure receptors are overstimulated frequently, it can make it harder for your brain to register pleasure. Imagine what happens to your brain when it is consistently exposed to things like caffeine, sugar, or even drugs. It desensitizes the receptors and creates a craving for more. And when you are more focused on your own orgasm, it can make you less focused on intimacy with your partner.

When you don’t have the end goal of orgasming, it can also make sex last longer, which also helps with the goal of sensual bonding with your partner.

How to have a great experience

Create a conscious, sensual, and romantic space. This could be with candles, light music, low lighting, wine, flowers, whatever works best for you!

Determine your intentions and expectations. Communication is very important with Karezza. Since the main goal is to connect and bond, make sure you talk with your partner beforehand. This way you know you’re on the same page.

Start slowly. This is a marathon, not a sprint. So go slowly and gently throughout. In fact, syncing breath patterns during the experience can remind you to take in the moment and heighten sensation.

Use positions where you can see each other. You are focusing on the pleasure of being close and bonding with your partner. Therefore, eye contact is necessary. Soft touching, kissing, cuddling, and skin-to-skin contact are all encouraged. Also, consider positions where you can mirror each other and be close to your partner’s heart.

The end game

If you or your partner do reach orgasm, don’t consider it a failure. Orgasm isn’t the goal of Karezza, but you shouldn’t be focusing all your energy into avoiding it either. This is also helpful for those that get stressed out and distracted about sexual inadequacy. Taking away the goal of orgasm can be a big relief and can help you be more in the moment.

The Karezza Method is great for many reasons. Unlike other methods and techniques, Karezza is equally applicable to those with disabilities or chronic pain. It gives everyone a different option for exploring their pleasure and sexuality.

Overall, Karezza may seem very different from your current perspective of sex with a partner. But it may be something that can refresh your relationship with your partner. There is no wrong way to go about trying this method, so there is no fear is failure! And who doesn’t love changing things up every now and then?

Kaitlyn Craig
Kaitlyn (she/her/hers) recently graduated in May 2022 from Northern Kentucky University with a bachelor’s in English. She loves reading, writing, and crocheting (specifically stuffed animals!) She is from Paducah, Kentucky, and has worked for Pure Romance since July 2022. She is very passionate about talking about books and the various impacts they can have. She even has a podcast called "The NeverEnding TBR." She would love to one day be an author and create characters that can impact others the way her favorite characters have impacted her!