5 Ways to Get Over Getting Ghosted
It’s the time of the year when goblins and ghouls haunt your dreams. Witches take to the sky threatening to cast magic spells on unsuspecting humans. Werewolves stalk the night looking for the nearest prey. But, the tale I’m spinning will also have you waking up in a cold sweat and calling for your parents, because it can happen at any time of the year. Yes, I’m talking about ghosting.
In case you haven’t had the pleasure of this charming modern-day dating tactic, ghosting is when someone you’re talking to suddenly disappears. You could be chatting nonchalantly and just casually mention, “hey, what’s the plan for Friday?” You wait for a response. Wait some more. Send a follow-up text. Wait a little more with hope starting to wane. Then, reality sets in. The person you thought you knew is gone. They’ve disappeared into the invisible web that is the internet.
Ghosting hurts. But the most important thing to keep in mind is, it’s not your fault. It’s perfectly normal to feel hurt, sad, and self-conscious when this happens, but, keep in mind, you’re not alone. A study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 25% had been ghosted by a partner. It’s not only common in relationships. 1/3 of the 1300 survey participants said they ghosted a friend.
Here are some ways you can stop being haunted afterwards:
Did I do anything wrong? That’s likely one of the first thoughts that will pop into your head after someone disappears. Let’s be real, the person with the problem is the person doing the ghosting. They are letting fear control the relationship. First things first, allow yourself to be upset. Getting ghosted is upsetting and you’ll likely have lots of feelings.
Talk About It
Who ya gonna call? Not the ghostbusters, but your family or friends. They know you best and can give you the best advice. It’s also good to get all your feelings out in the open and maybe do some trash talking. Hindsight’s 20/20 and it’s easier to see any issues or annoying habits that person might’ve had afterwards. It’s good to get those feelings out but don’t let the trash talking get too out of hand.
Treat Yo’ Self
Tom and Donna’s legendary tradition on “Parks and Rec” lives on in real life and you should take advantage of it! Give yourself some self-care, whether you spend some time at a spa or splurge on an item that you’ve deemed you don’t need. You deserve it!
Try Something New
It’s time to go on an adventure. Whether that adventure is something you’ve been wanting to do for a long time, like skydiving, or it’s something you’re curious about, like learning to knit, there’s always something new to do in the world. The gratification that comes with getting the adrenaline pumping or learning a new skill will certainly make anyone feel better.
Get Back in the Game
As Zac Efron once sang, “I gotta get my, get my head in the game.” He ended up winning the basketball championship game and getting the lead role in the winter musical. Who could ever argue with a Disney Channel original? Yes, it can be scary to put yourself out there and face rejection, but think of the possibilities you’re missing by not getting back in the game. Your new partner or future best friend is waiting!
Let’s be honest, ghosting sucks, but it’s not the end of the world. There are ways you can get over that pesky spirit and move on with your life. Don’t get stuck in the past like a ghost (see what we did there) but enjoy the possibility of the future.