I am a woman who is deeply set in her ways. I have the same breakfast every day (three cups of coffee in quick succession). I spend my week cycling through a selection of day leggings, yoga leggings, and sleep leggings. And at night, my favorite thing to do is have a late-night string cheese and clamber into bed with a good book, at which point I read until I pass out.

Sexy time? The sexiest thing you could possibly offer me is sleep.

Maybe 2024 is my year. Maybe 2024 is the year I finally try that position I’ve been fantasizing about, buy that toy I’ve been waffling over, and let my spouse see me in something other than daywear that is indistinguishable from sleepwear.

Maybe 2024 is your year, too. Maybe it will be your sexiest year yet.

How can we manifest this?

Go on an epic adventure… of your own body.

If you’re hanging out on our site, there’s a good chance you’re no stranger to self-love. Maybe you have a go-to toy. Maybe you have an entire drawer full of toys. Maybe you feel strongly that you already know exactly where you like to be touched and how.

Or maybe you’re new to us, new to solo sex, and new to sex toys. Maybe you don’t know what you like, and you struggle to communicate with your partners about what you enjoy.

Either way, there’s always something new to learn about your body and about how it responds to different types of touch and sensation.

Instead of pulling old faithful out of your nightstand drawer—which is likely to drop you into your usual, predictable self-love routine—consider trying some new toys (maybe from our new Ultra Soft line?). Then set aside some time for yourself and see what you discover.

Do you usually rush straight to your clitoral hood, applying that same old vibrational intensity and vibrational rhythm? Instead, pay attention to the rest of your body. Run your new toy or even just your hands, over your nipples, up your inner legs, and down the small of your back. Try something like a scarf, an ice cube, or our Tickle & Whip and play around with sensation play. If you’re using a vibrator, try different types of vibration and see how your body responds. Try long, slow strokes, light, gliding circles, or a firm, sustained touch. How does that part of your body respond? How about that other part? Notice what you prefer and where.

You may think you know what works, but what we enjoy can change over time. Be curious about what your body wants and needs and be open to new things.

Follow your curiosity.

There’s a woman I follow on Instagram who makes sensual, erotic watercolor art. Every so often, I’ll see one of her paintings in my feed and think, “My god, that looks hot AF. Why don’t we ever do that?”

Seriously, though. Why don’t we?

Inspiration can be found everywhere, from erotic art to yes/no/maybe lists to, apparently, my Instagram feed. As you discover more about the types of touch you enjoy, think about other forms of sex play that might be fun to explore. Are there positions you’ve always wanted to try? Roleplays that would allow you to delve into a long-held fantasy? Some other sort of kink you maybe saw on that one episode of “How to Build a Sex Room” that looked super intriguing?

Put yourself first.

The more you learn about what you enjoy, the easier it will be to guide your partners toward the most mutually fulfilling sexy times ever.

We often spend a large portion of our sex play worrying about the other person’s experience. But I think 2024 is the time to get a little selfish. It’s not as if your partners can read your mind and, if they’re worth a damn, they’ll want to ensure you’re having fun, too.

So, take all this intel you’ve gathered and share it with them. Demand the pleasure you deserve. The more you both communicate about pleasure and desire, the better the sex will become.

Celebrate yourself.

Finally, try to remember how much your body has done for you. It has kept you safe, even in the midst of a pandemic. It has provided you with an instant outlet for pleasure. It has carried you through this one, amazing life you’ve been given.

Y’all. Our bodies are magic.

So, take some time to thank it for everything it’s capable of by doing something nice for it… and maybe a little bit sexy.

Stephanie Auteri

Stephanie Auteri

Journalist, author, & sex educator
Steph Auteri has written about sexuality for the Atlantic, the Washington Post, Pacific Standard, VICE, and other publications, and has collaborated with folks at the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), the Center for Sex Education, and Good in Bed. She is the author of A Dirty Word, a reported memoir about how female sexuality is so often treated like a dirty word.