Long-distance relationships scare a lot of people and may seem impossible. But success with long-distance relationships isn’t impossible. They do take a little more energy, effort, and thought than relationships where you see each other on a regular basis. Here are some tips that will help make your long-distance relationship smooth and successful.

Send messages throughout the day

This may seem kind of obvious, but it can be very easy to get busy and forget to check in with your significant other. Sometimes it’s the little things that can mean a lot in a relationship, especially when you are long-distance.

Little things include sending a quick message in the morning to ask how they are doing or sending them a TikTok that reminds you of them. This helps remind your partner that you are thinking of them even if you aren’t physically there. It just takes a couple of seconds and can be done while taking a quick work break, brushing your teeth, etc. and it will brighten their day!

Schedule phone calls

The frequency can depend on your schedules and what you feel is right for your relationship. But be consistent. It is important to take the time to catch each other up on your lives. You don’t realize how much of that happens during in-person small talk, but you need to be more intentional when you are long-distance.

Have a scheduled time, for example every Thursday evening at 6, and catch each other up on life. Think of it almost like a weekly date night. Having this time to just talk and catch up on all the daily things will help you grow closer even though you are further apart physically.

Make the most out of in-person time

You may live a few hours apart and see each other multiple times a month or across the country and only see each other a few times a year. Do most of the small-talk during those scheduled phone calls and save the in-person time for the deep connecting conversations. Also, use the in-person time to make memories together and learn the most that you can about each other. This is especially important if your partner’s love language is quality time. Want to discover your love language? Take our quiz!

For example, do the cheesy date things, like ice skating, to learn how they respond to certain situations. Do they like trying new things? Are they coordinated or clumsy? Are they spontaneous or do they like things planned farther in advance? These are all great things to know about your partner, and they usually translate to deeper connections.

Pro-tip: Take a lot of pictures together during your in-person time. This will really help when you are in-between visits and missing them.

Write letters

This is going to sound super cheesy. It can be cute and helpful in terms of growing your connection while long-distance. They don’t have to be eloquent or fancy. They can just be little things that you’ve been thinking about, things that you want to tell them, why you love them, etc.

Opening your mailbox and realizing that it isn’t all junk or bills is always fun and exciting. This also gives you something you can reread when you are missing them. This is especially important if your partner’s love language is words of affirmation.

Pick a show to watch or a book to read “together”

This can be a fun way to spend time together and will give you something to bond over. Watch whatever fits you and your partner’s taste. If it is something that you can watch and talk about, it will do the trick! Or pick a book that you both think sounds interesting and do a book club together.

Not all your conversations should be serious, relationship-building communications. Silly moments remind you why you fell in love with that person in the first place. This is very important. Plus, the silly memories are the ones that you are going to hold onto. These will be the stories you tell 30 years in the future.


This is the most important part of any relationship, but especially long-distance ones. Some of the other tips above had an element of communication but talking through where you want your relationship to go and what the expectations are is vital to long-distance success.

You need a mutual understanding that just because you aren’t physically close that doesn’t mean you aren’t close emotionally. You just have to work harder and be more intentional.

Overall, being intentional in your actions and conversations can make a major difference in the success of your relationship. These tips are a great way to make your partner feel cared for and appreciated when you aren’t in the same city, state, or even country.

Kaitlyn Craig
Kaitlyn (she/her/hers) recently graduated in May 2022 from Northern Kentucky University with a bachelor’s in English. She loves reading, writing, and crocheting (specifically stuffed animals!) She is from Paducah, Kentucky, and has worked for Pure Romance since July 2022. She is very passionate about talking about books and the various impacts they can have. She even has a podcast called "The NeverEnding TBR." She would love to one day be an author and create characters that can impact others the way her favorite characters have impacted her!