And it may not be what you think! Imagine this: in a world where the internet serves as a gateway to an endless array of fantasies and communities, what juicy tidbits come to mind when you think about women’s sexual fantasies? Maybe you think up images of steamy BDSM encounters, kinky role-playing, or perhaps even a bit of naughty voyeurism. But, according to a study by psychologist and sex researcher Justin Lehmiller, the real surprise lies elsewhere: a whopping 59 percent of women are getting hot fantasizing about… drumroll, please… sex with other women!

Embracing the Fantasy

59% may be a conservative estimate because this was the number of women in the study who admitted to the fantasy. Millennials are more than twice as likely (20% vs. 7%) to identify as LGBTQ+ than the Boomer generation. Additionally, Gen Z is coming into the picture, and 1 in 4 Gen Z adults in the U.S. identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer; This generation is all about embracing the full spectrum of love and desire made possible by the groundwork of previous generations of queer activists. 

In a world where love and desire come in a myriad of forms, it’s no surprise that many women find themselves exploring fantasies that stretch beyond heteronormative ones. Among these fantasies, one intriguing aspect is the idea of being in a romantic or sexual relationship with another woman, even if they never act upon it in reality.

Let’s unpack this a bit. Fifty-nine percent sounds like a lot, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Think of it as the number of people who admitted to sneaking a peek at their favorite guilty pleasure reality TV show – you just know there are plenty more doing it on the down-low! But why are so many women drawn to the allure of same-sex fantasies? Well, for one, it’s a bit like dipping your toes into a pool of curiosity. Fantasies don’t always translate to behavior.

Sexuality Exists on a Spectrum

Just because someone has a sexual fantasy about women having sex with other women doesn’t necessarily mean they identify as bisexual, lesbian, queer, etc. As early as 1948, Dr. Alfred Kinsey, a renowned sex researcher, proposed that sexual orientation is not simply binary but instead operates on a spectrum. 

The overall percentage of adults who identify as LGBTQ+ in the US is around 7.1%, which is nowhere near the 59% of women fantasizing. Many women may fantasize or have “girl crushes” without ever acting upon said fantasy or even having a real desire to.

There is also space in this for people who identify as sexually fluid. Society imposes a rigid structure with implied pressures of choosing a label or a box to fit into – straight, gay, or bisexual. Yet, this framework overlooks the intricacies of human sexuality, blurring the lines where one may identify as straight at one point in one’s life and then experience attraction or intimate connections with individuals of the same gender. Sexual attraction and fantasies are nuanced and ever-changing and that is a beautiful thing!

Pop Culture and Representation Matter!

Let’s remember the important role of pop culture in all of this! Positive representation is helpful for marginalized folks’ self-esteem and provides validation for their feelings. From TV shows to movies, books, and beyond, examples of women loving women have more representation now than ever before. Artists like Chappell Roan, Renee Rapp, and Boygenius bring sapphic love to popular music’s forefront, and “Bottoms,” a GLAAD award-winning movie starring Ayo Edebri and Rachel Sennott, is one of the top indie movies of 2023 all paving the way for more diverse narratives in pop culture. 

What’s Your Fantasy?

So, what’s the bottom line? Whether you’re indulging in a steamy daydream or letting your imagination run wild, exploring fantasies that push the boundaries of heteronormativity can be a liberating and empowering experience. After all, who says fantasies have to play by the rules? So let your imagination run wild – the only limit is the depths of your desires!

Amanda Schweder
Amanda Schweder (she/her/hers) is a social media creator and blog writer for Pure Romance. She loves covering topics of current lifestyle trends, pop culture, and sexual health. She considers herself a foodie and loves trying all the Cincinnati restaurants. She enjoys spending time outside and running her photography business in her free time.