If you’re a regular reader, you know we love introducing you to new and exciting ways to spice up your relationship. And one avenue of passion that can often be missed – either because of stigma, fear, or just lack of knowledge – is roleplay. One of the reasons is that this type of fantasy play often lives in the realm of BDSM and kink, a place many couples are hesitant to explore. But as we’ve talked about before, roleplay is nothing to fear! It can give you space to explore new ideas and help deepen connection. When delving into roleplay for the first time (or the 21st), it’s important to factor in certain dynamics since they shape the type of scenes and ideas that’ll bring you and your partner(s) the most pleasure. 

Note, you don’t have to be a BDSM expert to roleplay. Just think about things you like as well as things your partner either liked or expressed interest in. Are you interested in D/s (Domination and submission)? Other forms of power exchange? Language kinks (i.e. degradation or praise etc.)? All this and more can help! 

If your head is spinning, don’t worry – I’ll break it down!

Things To Think About for Roleplay

It may be helpful to think about feelings vs. just kink terminology i.e. how do you want to feel during the experience? Ask yourself questions to help spark imagination and conversation. 

  • Would I like hearing language and/or being referred to with words/names that make me feel naughty? Or would I prefer more romantic language? Praise even? 
  • Do I want to direct most of the action or have my partner handle it? Somewhere in between? Is the idea of switching mid-scene hot?
  • Would certain clothes, toys, and/or props help set the scene? Or would they be distracting?
  • What erotica book or adult movie scenes do I find most memorable? What specifically sticks out? Would I enjoy recreating the scenes?
  • Are realistic scenarios more appealing to me? Do fantastical settings turn me on? Both?
  • Do I have a safeword selected? What about a non-verbal gesture to stop play? 

Hopefully the above questions help get the ball rolling! As with any sexy new experience, communication is key. Chat with your partner about not only desires but also boundaries to make sure everyone’s on the same page. Another thing to remember? Don’t take things too seriously. Roleplay is supposed to be fun, so give yourself permission to flub a line or two, let go of your inhibitions, and fully embrace your role!

And on that note, let’s get into the ideas. 

13 Realistic Sex Roleplay Ideas to Try:

These scenarios can add a sense of realism and excitement to your experiences, making them more relatable and engaging for both you and your partner.

Strangers in a Bar:

Pretend to meet for the first time in a bar. Flirt and seduce each other before heading back to a hotel or home for a passionate encounter.

Boss & Secretary:

Create a scenario where one partner is the authoritative boss, and the other is the submissive secretary willing to do anything to please. Or flip it around and give the boss a secret submissive streak!

Exes Reconnecting:

Play as former lovers who meet up years later, reminiscing about old times and reigniting the spark between them.

Fitness Trainer & Client:

Assume the roles of a personal trainer and client, with the session turning into a seductive workout.

Vacation Fling:

Roleplay as travelers who meet and have a steamy affair while on vacation, knowing it will end when they return home.

Neighbors (or Roommates) with Benefits:

Pretend to be neighbors (or roommates) who have always had a mutual attraction, finally acting on it when the opportunity arises.

Special Delivery:

You’ve been waiting all day for a package, and just when you’ve lost all hope, it arrives. And so do you.

Airport Encounter:

Roleplay as strangers who meet at an airport bar and decide to join the mile high club on a whim.

First Date Role Reversal:

Switch things up! Have the traditionally dominant partner take on the submissive role while the other steps up to direct the action on a first date.

Historical Figures:

Step into the shoes of historical figures and recreate scenes from the past with a kinky twist. Not into actual history per se? Give it the Bridgerton treatment!

Celebrity & Fan:

Play out a scenario where one partner is a celebrity, and the other is a devoted fan eager to please their idol.

Detective & Suspect:

Dive into a mystery roleplay where one partner is the detective interrogating the other, who plays the suspect in a thrilling investigation.

Artistic Muse & Artist:

One partner plays the role of an artistic muse inspiring the other, who portrays an artist seeking creative inspiration.

Or maybe you’re curious about scenes that are a little less… conventional. 

12 Fantasy Sex Roleplay Ideas to Try: 

These scenarios can add a sense of magic, mystery, and adventure to your roleplay experiences, allowing you to explore fantastical realms of desire…

Time Travelers:

Explore different time periods by roleplaying as time travelers who meet in various historical eras, blending fantasy with history.

Vampire & Mortal:

Act as a vampire seducing their victim. Explore the sensual and dangerous allure of the vampire mythos.

Interstellar Lovers:

Journey into space as an explorer discovering new planets and an alien life form curious about human sexuality.

Superhero & Villain:

Play as a superhero and their arch-nemesis, engaging in a battle of wills that turns into a passionate encounter.

Haunted House Owner & Ghost:

Roleplay as the new resident of a haunted house and a ghost determined to scare them away. Have the ghost trying erotic new ways to get spooky.

Fairytale Characters:

Pretend to be characters from fairytales (e.g., Cinderella and Prince Charming) who explore a different kind of happily ever after.

Forbidden Romance:

Play as royals from opposing kingdoms, meeting in secret to indulge their mutual desires.

God/Goddess & Mortal:

Play a god/goddess and their mortal patron who pleases and adores in worshipful ways.

Pirate & Captive:

Assume the roles of a pirate and captive, with the pirate plundering more than just treasure.

Robot & Human:

Explore the dynamics of technology and humanity by roleplaying as a robot and human, exploring themes of control and submission.

Spirit & Medium:

Assume the roles of a spirit seeking earthly pleasures and the medium who channels their desires into reality.

Magic School Romance:

Enroll in a magical academy as students of the arcane arts, where spells and potions lead to passionate enchantments.

In wrapping up, remember diving into roleplay can be an exciting ride of self-discovery and intimacy with your partner. Just keep those lines of communication open, set your boundaries, think about your roles, and consider starting with simple scenarios. These experiences have the potential to be truly unforgettable! So don’t hold back! 

Let your imagination run wild!

Serena Clement

Serena Clement

Serena Clement (she/her/hers) is a Senior Writer at Pure Romance and an aficionado of all things sextech. As a queer BIPOC with a B.A. in English and Minor in Creative Writing, Serena is a fresh, no-nonsense voice in the world of sexuality and wellness. In and out of the office, her interests include crafting engaging copy, celebrating diversity, and up-and-coming sex technology. Her years-long background in both product development and copywriting gives her a unique lens for her career at Pure Romance. And, when not at work on upcoming products, Serena spends time scribbling flash fiction or cozying up on her couch with the latest RPG.